Am I in love?

One last time.

Photo by: Von

Listen. I am not here to sulk at my mistakes in the past years. Even though before, it still haunts me during random times of the day, like on a sunny morning in June, or seeing the word “love” used as an endearment on some Facebook status. Finding the letters he sent that I’ve kept inside my suitcase while I was busy tucking in my sweaters because we were getting ready for summer. Also seeing the book he gave me, where we starred. Those days where he'd be all over telling me songs of The Smiths, or Empire of the Sun's Without You. Where everything I do is "kyot kyot" and where he would tell me he doesn't need anyone else cos he found his home in me. Where he said, "I don't have time for games anymore". Where he swore to the universe that it's time he gets serious and I'm going to be his last relationship, hence, he proposed. Fuck, the ring. Do not forget the ring he gave matched with sweet words said, but then, never actually committed to the relationship, only on the idea of it. Seeing and remembering, made me shrug it all off because it actually does not feel like a loss. It has been so long since the last time I ever thought about the “happy” moments that we had, and now I can’t vaguely remember what it’s like to have an affection for someone like him, who once made me look forward to the future with certainty, but only left with nothing more than just remains of the vast universe he described, words forming into stars turning into a new world of our own.

Mixtape Monday: Chill

I (kind of) hate the word chill. But there is no other way that I can describe these set of songs I listen to, whenever I need to get something off my mind. Like the type where I can zone out and feel things other than be stressed. 

Steal my sunshine.

The next few months will be hectic for me and even by just thinking about it makes my knees go weak and my heart sort of panics because I honestly have no idea how to survive it. But I just try to focus, and allow myself to go and grow with the flow. 

A day in Wien.

Today was very interesting. We went to the University of Vienna (previously known as Vienna General Hospital) and to Narrenturm (Fool's Tower), located just near the campus, which used to be Europe's oldest accommodation for mental patients during the 19th century. I had to google that while we were on the train because I honestly had no idea what that is. 

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