Life Update: Quitting

 *Note: I just want you to know that this is the second time I am writing this blog because the first time I did, I was smart enough to type on Notepad, ate my dinner, left my laptop alone, and didn’t realize it re-started on its own. Perfect. So now I am frustrated while typing this because I can’t seem to remember what I wrote. But I will try to make it as good as my original one. So here goes...

Whew. It took me so long to write about this. I can't seem to find the right words on how do I start this blog post.

Everything was never easy for me. Sure I am in my last year of school and the pressure of upcoming exams and handing out requirements with deadlines are consuming me, making me feel crippled and helpless to the point that each day I wake up, I get palpitations and feelings of apprehension whenever I go to school. Every time I study for an exam, I find myself having a hard time to be inspired and get motivated. My efforts were futile. I end up frustrating myself. Does anybody feel anything like this? Tell me I am not the only one.

I doubted myself countless times, and still ignored feeling weak and helpless because I don’t want to be a failure. But as I kept on doing it, as I forced myself doing it, I became oblivious that I was getting used to living with anxiety and it is slowly making me miserable. Until one day, I decided to snap out of it. It hit me like a cosmic shift telling me that I can’t continue doing this just because I am scared to disappoint my folks, but because I am disappointing myself.

Remember the post I wrote about choices? The one where I said we always have a choice and how there are times where we sometimes choose to keep on doing something in order to find light and purpose in everything that we do? Well, I don’t want to keep fooling myself anymore.

To put it out blatantly... yes I quit school. But I didn’t quit to stop. I quit because I am not happy with what I was doing anymore. It might be too soon to claim this but you know what? It felt good. I now wake up with nothing to worry about, and I find myself smiling more. There are times where I feel quite sad thinking if this decision was selfish, but I've talked to my mom already and she truly understood. With that, I am beyond thankful.

I kept calling myself a "quitter" but I like what my friend Carl told me, “You’re not a quitter. You’re a dream chaser.”

Yep! And something greater is coming.


  1. Oh my Yaniee! I feel you, you are not alone! I just resigned from my work last week and same, "I didn’t quit to stop. I quit because I am not happy with what I was doing anymore." And everyday from then, I've been waking up happier than the last. It's such a scary move and I'm still scared and unsure of what will happen next, but I know it's the right thing. Let's chase our dreams!

    xo, Lou | Caffeine Rush

    1. I'm so glad that we are brave enough to quit, Louise! It was hard at first - admitting that we can't do it, right? For me, it felt like "losing" a fight. But then again, we should also look out for our happiness. We can't continue forcing ourselves to something that makes us feel unfulfilling. I know something better is in store for us in the future. I'm glad we both get to wake up happier and with less worries! <3

  2. Love the quote! It's a brave decision and I applaud you for it. I hope you find your happiness Yaniee, good luck and go reach for your dreams. :D

    Loi ~~ Wanderlaska

    1. Thank you so much Loi! :) I appreciate it so much! <3


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