Worst day of my life

I always take pride in being healthy. Healthy in the sense that I rarely get sick, and when I do, it’s just the usual headache, coughs and colds. I’ve never been so sick enough to get hospitalized or operated. 

And then in the morning of January 24 — the thing I feared the most happened. 

At HOME. My alarm went off at 6:15 AM. I have work at 7, (my workplace is only a 3 minute walk  away from where I live) so I got up the bed, still feeling a bit groggy. I sleep with my mom, and I sleep on the side near the wall so I got up and everything happened so fast. Standing on the bed, I slipped on my mom’s blanket, my knee hit the side of the bed — and BAM — I fell on the floor my right knee bent and just giggled at my stupidity for falling, and groaned because I thought it was nothing. But I couldn’t move my right leg. My mom got up tried to comfort me and make me stand. But get this - I was on my PJs, on the floor and I touched my right knee. There was a dent (lol i know it’s used to describe cars but leave me alone ok) and then I knew it was bad. I also know my mom gets easily scared so I just laughed a little and told her I can’t stand or move my leg. I called my workplace and told them I can’t come for work. My mom called the ambulance. 

At the ER. I waited for a few minutes since the doctors and nurses are still doing their endorsements. I got my vital signs taken and then after a few minutes, a female doctor came to me, and without saying what she’s going to do, she took my hands off my knee and attempted to extend it. I SCREAMED IN PAIN. I couldn't do it. I JUST CAN’T. I’m aware of closed reduction and the doctor also kept telling me that yes it’s painful but just that one time and then it’ll be okay. But now that I’m in that situation - I just kept saying “Bitte, nicht.” Over and over. And then I cried. :( 

They let me have pain meds and then after a few more minutes, a male doctor came. Here’s the fun part. The female doctor took my hands off my knee and the male doctor extended it. I squeezed the hands of the doctor so hard, screamed, and cried and just let go and let god. Hahaha. 

After that ordeal, the other routines were done. Blood tests, and they gave me Dipidolor via IV. I was brought to the x-ray room and surprise, surprise, a fractured patella. 

Doctor told my mom I need to be admitted and operated later that day. 

I’m scared. Of course, I’m scared and also frustrated at the same time why this happened. But it’s an accident and I can't do anything about it. I know my mom is more scared than me so I just tried to keep my mood lighter even though deep inside I wanna cry. I’ve always imagined myself being admitted in a hospital but that reason was for giving birth. Not in a million years have I wished to be admitted and be operated over an accident or a malfunction in my body. So I kept making jokes to my mom like “omg I’m having contractions so this is what labor feels like!” or “are you excited to see your apo?”Just to kill the tension and not to make her feel like I’m scared. I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink that day in preparation for my operation so I didn’t complain of the pain but I complained that I was hungry. Lol.

9:30 PM, 24 January 2018 I was wheeled out of my room to the operating room. They first took my vitals, attached ECG leads, a BP apparatus, and then put on an oxygen mask on me which I later figured was the anesthesia. Lol. I was put to sleep. Next thing I knew, I woke up in the recovery room, asking my nurse what time is it, and how long the operation took. 2:30 AM, I was back in my room.

I thank my friends who messaged me and wished me well. There were some who actually laughed when I told them what happened which I honestly didn't appreciate very much because YO IT WASN'T FUNNY. But that's okay. People who don't know how accidents happen may tend to be insensitive and disregard the seriousness of it sometimes. :) It's not JUST a bone. It's a bone and now, I can't do things I usually do because of what happened.

I'm home now, taking pain meds 3x a day and anti-thrombosis s.c. injections every night which I've no choice but to do it on myself since my mom is scared. (Fact: Though I love giving injections, I don't look whenever I get injected because I don't like seeing the needle pass through my skin) I have a leg cast that will stay for 6 weeks, I walk with crutches, and I have an I.D. to show airport security if I decide to travel that I've got a metal implant on my knee whenever detectors may react. I already miss working but I have to get better first and I shall get through thisss!!!

xo, Yaniee

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