Looking back

It can be quite thought-provoking when you are left alone most of the time. And since I can't make future plans explicitly because it is uncertain when my knee will heal, all I'm left with is reminiscing and letting nostalgia consume me in ways that are making me feel both a little sad and happy.

Things that I've been thinking about or doing here recently, reminded me of the things I used to do.

Looking back when I was in elementary, where I love to read books and hoard whenever we went to bookstores. I remember the first book I borrowed from the library was Sweet Valley Kids #14 Jessica The Babysitter. That one book pretty much solidified my love for Francine Pascal's books and from then on, I would usually be in the library during recess time, reading and borrowing only Sweet Valley Books. Now, I'm reading this book (well, an iBook actually) which I only get to read whenever I feel it and I can't help but wonder whatever happened to my old booklover self who would even trade studying for it? The internet has taken over my life, tbh.

Looking back when I used to obsess over memorizing song lyrics of a certain song by buying song hits and now here I am catching myself tweeting mostly song lyrics that I can relate to, or find myself on YouTube having some throwback karaoke party for myself. No shame. Lol.

Looking back when I almost begged my parents to buy me an mp3 player just so I can listen to music wherever I go, now here I am contemplating if I should buy myself an iPod? I've had three - I lost one, I broke one, and I have my Nano (which is 10 years old!) still with me but I don't want to delete songs there because I'm sentimental as fuck. I'm thinking if it's necessary to buy a new one even though I still have my phone and it's working fine. So do I really need to spend for an iPod? Besides, does anyone still use an iPod?

Looking back when I would spend weekends at home playing Super Mario, Contra, Excite Bike or Battle City on our family computer and would often think Player 1 is the better player than Player 2. (Am I the only one who thinks like this?) It was always some sort-of reward when my parents would allow me to play on weekends. Now, I've also been thinking for months if I should get the Nintendo Switch because I kinda miss playing, to be honest.

Looking back when as a kid, I fangirled so hard on G-Mik casts especially Carlo Aquino and would spend my Saturday afternoon at home just to watch that show. Also, when Meteor Garden was the talk of the town, my friends and I will fight over who's more handsome: Dao Ming Si or Hwa Ze Lei. Now, here I am still spazzing over Carlo Aquino and growing a love for Taehyung.

Looking back when I used to scowl at the fact that my father likes to let me sing whenever they have their Office Christmas Party. I would really cry because I don't want to do it, but he would make such good bribes that I still ended up doing it. Now, he still lets me sing but thank goodness it's only during family gatherings. I'M NOT EVEN A GOOD SINGER. Lol but I miss it.

Through the years, a lot of things has changed but some, on the other hand, remained the same. I realized that I never really outgrew some of the stuff I mentioned here. I guess I will always have that attachment to my younger self and knowing that I still am connected to it gives me a sense of comfort. Lucky for me, my childhood or the 90s gave me amazing memories to look back on.

Now, if we talk about my "adult" memories...

that's a different story.

love, Yaniee

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